I am going through such a weird time lately. My creative juices are just flowing like crazy. Almost too much in fact. Kind of like when a big chunk of river ice breaks off and starts moving downstream. On the one hand it breaks through any logjam and gets things going again. On the other hand, well…if you are standing there on the riverbank watching, it has the potential to just run you right over.

It would be great if I could harness this energy and actually focus it in one or two directions. Instead, I am feeling like a whirling dervish at times. Sparking off creative energy right and left and in danger of squandering it through my lack of focus. All of a sudden I have tons of ideas in a range of areas, that I want to develop and see where I can take them.

Where the hell did this all come from? I was in hunkered-down mode after a painful breakup, licking my wounds and wishing for a cave to hibernate in for a while. Seems like I have emerged from that fugue state with renewed purpose and drive, taking me totally by surprise.

In the past when I was in a more structured work environment, aka actually drawing a regular paycheck,  I was aware that part of my creative process involved sorting through things in my head. Kind of like assembling a big mental jigsaw puzzle…moving pieces around, looking for patterns, finding the right flow. Although I often was able to sit at the computer, write and create at the same time, for the bigger conceptual projects I definitely needed to spend some time pacing and talking to myself. Colleagues would peer into my office and find me staring into space as I worked things out. Well to be honest, there were times when I was staring into space, and really only thinking about what I was going to have for lunch.

I believe that the mind-boggling technological advancements we have seen in the past 10 or 20 years offer a lot more opportunities to get a creative project out into the world. The gatekeepers have been nullified, at least a bit, and there is so much access now to different production tools. Just very recently I taped some footage at a nonprofit I volunteer at. I took that, taught myself how to edit using basic movie-making software on a home computer, dropped some music and text in and holy crap, I had created a :60 second promotional spot. I mean it’s not Fellini or Scorsese, but it’s not Looney Tunes either. (Actually I adored Looney Tunes cartoons growing up so I take that back.)

But you know what I mean. It’s a first step. A first step towards maybe being able to finally express all the stories I’ve had swirling around inside my head all of my life.

Advertisements